My Well-being for a $200 Ethan Allen Couch

So I bought a couch.

Before I had an apartment.

With money I didn’t have.

Because I liked it.

Normally, I wouldn’t resort to such irrational acts of shopping, but after being in New York for more than 2 weeks at that time and not having anything (and I mean, anything) go as planned, you bet your gosh darn relaxed mind I was going to make an impulsive decision.

So I did.

PROBLEM NO. 1 -
I was in the middle of applying for the studio I live in now (and yes, that means that things do get better eventually), so I had an idea of the place and took the leap of faith that I would have it soon enough that I could, in fact, buy this couch. Basically, I bought a couch with no place to put it.

No problem, I thought. I’ll ask Housing Works to hold it.

And they did.

But their policy only allows to hold things for two days. I bought the couch on Thursday. I thought I’d be in my place by Sunday. Oh, what to do for that one day?

Housing Works suggested I … get a mover to hold it! Perfect. I’ll call them.

So I did.

PROBLEM NO. 2 -
Movers are so expensive here. And frankly, I am still in denial that I need them. Had I been in LA (i.e. home), I would have taken my car or a friend’s truck and picked it up. Instead, here in the city, I have to pay a mover $200+ to take my couch from 77th and 3rd to 108th and Broadway. Roughly, a 3-mile journey. So sad, right?

I had to suck it up and call. Calling around made me more distressed. Not only would they charge me $200+ to move the couch, they’d charge extra to hold it. Ay caramba, NY, I’m not made of money! I’m a journalist, for goodness’ sake.

Then, lucky me! I find this man whose brother moves stuff for cheap… for college students. Great! I call and he will gladly move my couch from 77th and 3rd to 108th and Broadway.

PROBLEM NO. 3 -
He can move it on Monday. He’s booked on Sunday. Fine, fine. I decided to call Housing Works. My well-being is less valuable than a $200 Ethan Allen couch anyway.

So I did.

I begged Housing Works for one more precious day that would help this poor Los Angeleno girl lost in the city.

Fail.

I call back David, the mover, and let it all out on him. The stress, the tears, the school, the poverty I am ensuing for having bought this couch, etc. etc. etc.

He said.. HE’D DO IT! David would pick it up on Sunday and drop it off Monday for the humble fee of $150. Holla at yo girl!

PROBLEM NO. 4 -
David can’t drop it off Monday because his wife is sick.

I have class every other day. So we decided that on Wednesday, during my break from class, I’ll run down the short 8 blocks and meet him for delivery. Finally, a problem easily resolved.

PROBLEM NO. 5 -
“This isn’t going to fit in the elevator.”

They carried the 3-seater massive couch up to the 4th floor. David and his friend.

“Is this one of the hardest couches you’ve moved?” I asked.
“No, no,” David said.
“It’s the hardest one we’ve moved,” his friend said.

Great, don’t I feel like the user. Wait, no. I’m paying them.

You think that’s the end?

PROBLEM NO. 6 -
“Did you measure this couch before you bought it?” David’s friend asks as he looks at my small door while holding my couch.

I swear that couch grew! Or my door shrunk! AH!

Roughly 45 minutes later… The couch was in by means of angles I didn’t know existed. Threats were made that they would take off my door without the super’s approval or that they would have to leave. LEAVE!?!? Yeah, leave. But it made it in. On Wednesday. I bought it on Thursday.

It took some begging. Ok, a lot. But it took begging, embarrassment, sweat, and a lot of money, but that couch is what I am leaning on now to write this. And boy, do I feel accomplished.

LESSON NO. 1 -
Measure before you buy.

LESSON NO. 2 -
If you’re homeless, don’t buy furniture.

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